I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
