Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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