sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
