No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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