I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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