her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
