we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
