I swear she didn't look like that last week.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
