never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
