im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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