butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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