just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
