weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
