I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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