My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
