The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
