Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
