i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize