party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
