I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
