maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
