I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
