Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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