thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize