Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
