Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
