I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
