Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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