Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
