$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
