he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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