I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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