Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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