Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
