I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
