She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
