You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
