I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
