she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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