It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
