I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
