Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
