At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
