Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
