I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
