Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
