would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
