Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
