im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
