This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
