Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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