there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And the cops told us we were all naked.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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