White coat. Heels.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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