My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize