he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
