Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
