i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize