Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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