I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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