ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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