sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
