I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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