Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
