flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
