Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
