the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
